I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
