No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
