she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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