i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize