I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
