this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
