Sponge bath it is.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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