People with herpes should wear stickers.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
