I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
