He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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