I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize