I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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