would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
