No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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