If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
