Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
