can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
