He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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