I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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