Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize