You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
