drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize