At least make sure they are 18
Why
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
