What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
