I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
