check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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