I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this just has baby written all over it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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