remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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