i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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