I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
