Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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