im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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