just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
