I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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