I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
