I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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