god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
