Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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