this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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