We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
