If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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