cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
