I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that