My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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