ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
