So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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