so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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