yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
