Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
