babies were throwing up all over the place
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
