At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
