I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
