He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't deserve a penis
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
