Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles

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  (708): chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles http://tfl.nu/o4hh
  Replies (16) Good night (860) Bad night (1572)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.

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  (423): it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me. http://tfl.nu/odtr
  Replies (7) Good night (700) Bad night (2872)
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  (607): View more from New York

  so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.

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  (607): so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class. http://tfl.nu/dhq5
  Replies (50) Good night (731) Bad night (4732)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed

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  (412): I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed http://tfl.nu/up7a
  Replies (12) Good night (3624) Bad night (660)
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  (845): View more from New York

  No more Irish car bombs ever.

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  (845): No more Irish car bombs ever. http://tfl.nu/mjsz
  Replies (12) Good night (3069) Bad night (1247)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.

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  (412): For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events. http://tfl.nu/5o8b
  Replies (11) Good night (4312) Bad night (1362)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.

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  (306): When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again. http://tfl.nu/vfit
  Replies (5) Good night (4423) Bad night (1356)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

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  (219): My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout? http://tfl.nu/0knj
  Replies (24) Good night (5877) Bad night (2500)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.

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  (847): Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college. http://tfl.nu/wpry
  Replies (5) Good night (2049) Bad night (983)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"

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  (651): Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS" http://tfl.nu/3sn5
  Replies (3) Good night (1942) Bad night (679)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick

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  (610): Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick http://tfl.nu/2y12
  Replies (0) Good night (692) Bad night (1031)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.

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  (402): the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion. http://tfl.nu/w3kh
  Replies (6) Good night (1122) Bad night (598)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?

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  (309): Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety? http://tfl.nu/ikg5
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (364)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.

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  (270): I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once. http://tfl.nu/lr7p
  Replies (6) Good night (774) Bad night (418)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS

  (845): View more from New York

  Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.

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  (201): SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS (845): Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings. http://tfl.nu/tkia
  Replies (8) Good night (1061) Bad night (468)

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