Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'll just stay a virgin forever then

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  You still have to go anyway

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): I'll just stay a virgin forever then (1-856): You still have to go anyway (856): Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around http://tfl.nu/rkrx
  Replies (5) Good night (1144) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both http://tfl.nu/4hk0
  Replies (9) Good night (3006) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment. http://tfl.nu/sp0b
  Replies (20) Good night (3781) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me. http://tfl.nu/ln0p
  Replies (18) Good night (4261) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa http://tfl.nu/lg9x
  Replies (33) Good night (7627) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip? http://tfl.nu/mroo
  Replies (35) Good night (1123) Bad night (4976)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze http://tfl.nu/j7ix
  Replies (14) Good night (5243) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting. http://tfl.nu/kqku
  Replies (29) Good night (4204) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester. http://tfl.nu/ggyj
  Replies (39) Good night (2925) Bad night (5129)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk http://tfl.nu/vf88
  Replies (2) Good night (1892) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state. (847): Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it. http://tfl.nu/q5kp
  Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (2256)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): 2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits. http://tfl.nu/57o4
  Replies (8) Good night (867) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/64c7
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives 

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives  http://tfl.nu/o3zv
  Replies (5) Good night (247) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream. http://tfl.nu/ohie
  Replies (6) Good night (325) Bad night (1012)

Randomize