the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize