Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.