Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.

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  (619): 3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact. http://tfl.nu/7spk
  Replies (20) Good night (2535) Bad night (875)
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  (415): View more from California

  He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.

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  (415): He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal. http://tfl.nu/3jar
  Replies (72) Good night (1959) Bad night (6092)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one

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  (740): i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one http://tfl.nu/4erg
  Replies (19) Good night (3859) Bad night (1131)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!

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  (816): Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?! http://tfl.nu/jlrn
  Replies (32) Good night (806) Bad night (6177)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.

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  (914): I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box. http://tfl.nu/rmin
  Replies (22) Good night (5846) Bad night (1015)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

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  (618): So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in. http://tfl.nu/s63a
  Replies (39) Good night (4361) Bad night (5511)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups

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  (651): i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups http://tfl.nu/8ph5
  Replies (13) Good night (6379) Bad night (1023)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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  (908): Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas. http://tfl.nu/cnc6
  Replies (13) Good night (3411) Bad night (789)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.

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  (850): The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc. http://tfl.nu/3vm7
  Replies (4) Good night (1877) Bad night (492)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival

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  (303): im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival http://tfl.nu/aw8e
  Replies (2) Good night (1080) Bad night (525)
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  (718): View more from New York

  this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

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  (718): this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican http://tfl.nu/utxh
  Replies (27) Good night (658) Bad night (1606)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.

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  (682): She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels. http://tfl.nu/oykt
  Replies (12) Good night (1210) Bad night (772)
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  (818): View more from California

  Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.

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  (818): Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle. http://tfl.nu/73xi
  Replies (4) Good night (1270) Bad night (430)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  DC is easy, you will figure it out.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.

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  (617): DC is easy, you will figure it out. (508): I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this. http://tfl.nu/ltz6
  Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (420)
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  (925): View more from California

  All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.

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  (925): All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room. http://tfl.nu/psmm
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (352)

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