I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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