Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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